things on my mind...

I dont know where to begin But I can say that I have been so anxious lately.

1. The whole job situation has opened my eyes on so many levels. I have learned that the ones that smile in your face are not the ones that will have your back. When you are faced with a challenge, please embrace it because it is just a sign of the success coming your way. I can't wait for my next stage.

2. Friends: I dont even know how to describe the distance and loneliness I feel right now. It is like "What did I do?" "Why dont I have a support team aside from family?" There are alot of questions I have in this area ????? It all comes back to me. I give my all and undivided attention so why I am I always left alone.

3. Special Someone: I am of course the single one...I have been single all my life. I have never been in a serious relationship. This again comes back to me. I am respectful and yes I do have standards. I am completely lost in this area. I dont even know how to approach it or if I should at all.

A lady came to visit the office where I work because she has just been promoted into a role, so she came to the Houston office to check on morale and just the overall workspace so that she could make an assessment to improve our Operations. Her first passion is people, and she went on to tell her story of how she got to where she is today. It was very inspiring, but what stuck out to me the most was her speaking on passions. It of course made me think. I concluded that you are the deciding factor of everything you are a part of as well as what you allow to enter into your life. She was very direct and even allowed us to ask her open questions. It just had me in awe how personal and honest she was. It was very inspiring, and it made me feel that my time was coming:)

I know that wherever I am right now is where I need to be, but it is hard for me because everything is so dim. I guess it is just me wanting things that you cant simply buy with money. You cant just go outside and it appears. These are things that have to develop over time and even should have been made during my earlier years or so it seems.

Its like I have had so many seasonal people and things in my life thus far, and I am looking for long term. The question or thought is how do I go about that? How long do I have to wait? Was is it that I need to do to start? Do I already have these things and they are not in my sight or I am I just too blind to see it?

Hmmmm....