another month beginning...if I had my way (randomosity)

This weekend I have simply done nothing which I had planned to do, but every time you are still, it gives you the chance to THINK!

Right now I feel like my days are passing by....

Friends are very few...

I feel a bit incomplete.

Weight stands in my way to live, but it seems every time I put my mind to getting in shape, something happens. For example, this is embarrassing, but this past week I became constipated. If you have never had this feeling then I can compare it to a stomach ache that doesnt go away no matter how much medicine you take. Your body has to run its course and you have to wait for it. So, at work, I am a receptionist. Long story short, I do my job sitting down which didnt make the situation any better:( This week I started working out and couldnt do it for the entire week because of this. All I wanted to do was lay down or release...

But this is the story of my life. I havent witnessed a time where I am truly doing something just based on what I want. It always includes how it may look to others.

If I had my way I would be doing something with singing/music/some type of artistry production. This is something I would do even if it didnt pay me. Why havent I? Hmmmm....

I think that life just takes you in certain directions and choices have to be made...all in all you are where you are suppose to be...(hope that makes sense)

BUT back to my passion, I have come to realize that maybe my purpose will not end up to be what I do professionally...(sucks hard to realize that)

Have I missed my turn?